I did it! I managed to cook for a group and it was nice. Nice as a matter of food, tasty, and also so good to do. The Friday was all about travelling (through snow but it went ok, I could join one of the teachers). Then we (the teacher helped me out) started to prepare the whole time until the guests arrived. There were two cancellations because of the weather, in the west of Holland it was quite a mess. I prepared the lentile soup and the curry so the flavours could set overnight. In the evening we ate some of the soup, and some potatos & pumpkin from the oven with some bread and home made hoummous. Some early guests also had some soup. And the evening meditation was very nice, I felt the tears coming because of all the stress of the last days. I let them run silently. After that I went to bed and slept like a rose.
The next day I prepared breakfast, but I participated in the early Quantum Light Breath meditation. Really good, it was my third time and this time was really good, because I let my breath do the work more. Not as intense as can be, but I was already crying again, I cleared myself. In the last stage I left for the kitchen to do the rest of the work for breakfast. Later on I also participated in the lauging meditation, but my head was in the kitchen, with my deadlines… I tried to laugh about that (one suggestion was to laugh about your top 5 problems) but it didn’t really work out. In the silent phase I quickly stepped out to finish my indian curry. I needed to cook the rice, make papadums, salad and set the table etc. The guests were satisfied, it was nice indeed, with mangocutney and papadums, the coleslaw as a side dish. The group was also very relaxed, they were not immediately there for the meals, they needed time to integrate their meditations. For the evening I prepared a beetsalad and I did that with much mindfullness, I was relaxed, took the time and loved the silence and the proccess. The rest was taking a walk in a white landscape, unfortunately I only had 15 minutes of fresh air. But the result was there; the soup and salad were so tasty, some guests were asking me for the recipe. In the evening I could join in again and to my surprise the was a tantra meditation on the programm. Wow. I was so lucky to have the most warm and tender, supporting (from both ways) experience with a man in the group. A present. Tantra was on my list for a wile and now it became reality unexpectedly. He was also delighted although he was experienced. After that we had a drink and social gathering, but I was so overwhelmed that I hardly slept.
The last morning I decided to take it easy, preparing the breakfast, this time with boiled eggs and breadrolls from the oven, so no meditation for me. I also took the time to prepare my eggplants and pasta. I partly participated but was much more relaxed about the timing. It went alright. The warm lunch was nice as well, but the ovendish was not easy to serve. A bit messy and I had the feeling that some parts of the eggplants were not totally cooked. Nobody complained, the guests were again happy and with compliments. Ice cream for desert. Easy.
I missed a great part of the final sharing because of the massive dishes and the dishwasher was broken… But anyhow I felt a flow in my body and I realised I fulfilled my job and I wasn’t bad at all. I learned so much.
My inner perfectionist said I could have done even a better job (it is never good enough haha), but next time (if I decide to do this again, who knows I might) I will try to do it even more in mindfullness and without distraction or help; it really works to cook with passion and love! It’s such a good feeling to be serving others and also to obtain some of the energy that comes from (active) meditation. No more insecurity if I do my thing, if I let it happen and express my needs.